Learning How To Redress Yourself

Well hello there!

I've decided to talk about a pretty touchy subject (for me at least) today because frankly I'm stuck at home due to snow and there's no better opportunity to write something than now. I have managed to emerge myself into the fashion world with this little blog, but this last little bit has proven a bit of difficulty for me. Over the last year I've lost a bit of weight, which is fantastic and all, but it's affected my perception of myself.

I've never been someone who has been considered "thin", which is perfectly fine with me. I learned at a young age how to dress myself and what looked best on my body. I had been very accustomed to it and it was easy for me to pick something up without trying it on based on the silhouette or fit of it. I wasn't confident but I knew what I needed to wear to make myself appear so.

I started going to the gym in grade 12 because I wanted to look "better" for my prom. I worked out at least 5 days a week in the morning before school, and then would often come home and do some extra cardio. Obviously being in high school I wasn't eating the healthiest so there wasn't much of a difference come prom, but I felt better about myself, which was the goal. 

Then came university where I felt a little more confident in myself, which then faded because I wasn't going to the gym. First year is obviously stressful on everyone so naturally I resorted to food to deal with it, where I ended up putting weight back on. When I left university I continued to eat my sorrows away during the time I was off. However my weight loss started around December of 2013.

I decided to take myself off all of the medication I had been on for many many years. I guess some of the side affects were weight gain because over this past year I have hardly exercised, and I currently weigh much less than I did at my prom, when I was trying. Now I know you didn't need my background story as to how I gained and lost, but it makes sense for the story.

As I said, I've never been "thin". I've always had curves, thick thighs, and larger boobs. And like I said, I knew how to dress them. Until now. I've lost most of my curves; my thighs are still larger but are now shaped differently; and my boobs have seemingly disappeared. It seems as though this would be good for most people, but it isn't good for me. I essentially lost my sense of self and I'm now much more critical about everything.

I know that I have lost weight and I am now feeling more healthier and less sluggish, but my mind doesn't think so when I look in a mirror. I see the little flaws in myself, that make me who I am, much more magnified now. I am my harshest critic right now. Which is why it's so hard to dress myself.

I don't know if I should wear oversized clothes because I think they make me look larger. I don't know if I should wear tighter clothes because they make every flow more prominent. I don't know whether or not I should start wearing push up bras or those really delicate ones that don't support anything. I don't know if I should wear darker colours or lighter ones. I frankly just don't know how to dress myself anymore. So I'm on a journey to figure it out.

I wanted to address this because I've always been pretty open on here about my feelings and issues. I also wanted to address it because I don't know if there's anyone else going through something like this and maybe doesn't want to feel alone. The least important reason I'm addressing this is because until I figure it out my ootd posts or fashion posts will be significantly less than they are.

At the end of the day, I wanted to put it out there. I want people to know that losing weight isn't all that it's cracked up to be. I want people to know that sometimes you just forget the most basic of things and have to teach yourself again. I want people to know that it's all okay. And I want myself, and others, to know that not everything you do has to revolve around your appearance. Be confident with what you have, and be okay with what you don't. We'll figure it out someday.

What is some advice you have for people about body image?

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