Dear Future Me...

Dear Future Me,

Since websites never really go away, I figured I would write you a little letter that I'm sure you've forgotten about. Right now this is a really popular thing to do on YouTube, you know that place where you illegally (technically not illegal in Canada) downloaded all of your music from? But since you don't have an account currently it's being presented to you in the form of a blog post. I thought it would be nice to look back in 'X' amount of years to remember what was going on in your life, what worries you had, what you hoped your future self would be like, and what you really loved spending your time doing. And it's also kind of nice for me right now to think of what I really want to spend my time doing and hope I've done it... considering that I'm still super confused.

I guess we can start off on a favourites note. Right now you're really into listening to music. Most of it is stuff you can't find on radio stations, but you still love that new Ariana Grande song. You always have your headphones in, even if you're just laying in bed. You wish that there was a way for you to watch your favourite tv show (which is Gossip Girl at the minute and yes you are years and years behind) and listen to music at the same time. You're also going to a concert in about a month and a half for this British singer named James Bay. Search him up again and remember it. You also really really want another tattoo even though you only got one 2 weeks ago. You want to finish the sleeve I hope you have by now. Well, technically I hope you have both done and have the wolf print by Peter Carrington on your right arm. You love art. You wish you were better at drawing and painting. You should also probably start working on that. Poetry is your favourite thing to read right now. It's simple and easy and really finds a way to speak to you. You like spending your money on things of no value to you in the future. You should be spending it on travelling. Actually, scratch that, you should be saving it up so that it's a not worry to you. Sorry future me if you're blaming current me for not doing it sooner. I'll start tomorrow I promise. 

You also have a lot of worries even though you told yourself for New Years that you would worry less. You worry that what you're doing isn't the right thing. That maybe instead you should be going to school in Canada. California is far... it's warm... but it's far. Thinking about it makes me sick to my stomach, even though I'm only going to be doing online classes this year. You worry that the biggest mistake you could have ever made was leaving school. You know that a lot of your friends are having hard times in school figuring everything out, but it's not easier when you're out of school. It's kind of harder. You wish you could tell your friends that. You worry that your shyness and your introvert personality won't get you very far in life. Being scared isn't unusual for you. You worry a lot about money. You tell people you don't, but at the end of the day it's the last thing on your mind. You worry that your life won't turn out the way you imagine it to be. You worry about the future. But is it really all that scary?

Tell me future me, where am I? What am I doing? How am I feeling? Did I finish school? Did I get better at art? Did I even continue on with art history? Did I enjoy California, or did I even go? Where have I been? Please tell me that I've traveled to Greece already, or that it's already booked. At least tell me I've been on a plane? I probably puked, didn't I? It's because current you is scared of planes and flying and thinks I'll never do it. You better prove yourself wrong. In the topic of proving yourself wrong, tell me you've done a minimum of 5 things that have scared you tremendously. What were they? Who did you do them with? Are you even enjoying thinking of all these things that I'm asking you?

There are so many questions I have for you but I don't even think I'm able to think of them all. I could go on for hours asking a million things that current me won't know until I'm future me reminiscing. But I think all current me wants to know are a few simple things. Are you happy? Are you healthy? Are you loved? Are you a good person? Those are the only things that really matter. I hope you're well future me. I hope you've done all the things you didn't think you would do. I hope you've lived life to the fullest and will continue to do so. I hope you will give the world all the love you have inside of your heart because that's what you're really made to do. I hope you know that even though right now you might not fully understand how loving yourself is supposed to work, that you've figured it out. Because even if the answer to "are you loved" is no, I hope you know that I love you.

Oh, and future me, what questions do you have for future you?

One last thing future me - do you still have all the social media accounts listed below that you think your readers should follow you on? I hope so.

CONVERSATION

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