I'm Sober, But It's Not Socially Acceptable

Well hello there!


My name's MacKenzie and I've never had a drink, nor do I ever intend to. Surprisingly in high school this was never a problem with anyone, but ever since I've graduated it's become this huge dilemma with everyone. I've never done drugs or had a cigarette/cigar either, but that seems to be less of an issue. There are so many stipulations and stigmas that come with being a sober person that I tend to be judged right off the bat. So right now I'd like to clear up what it's actually like being sober and why no, I don't want to go out and party with you.

Let me put this out there first: I do not, under any circumstances, have to explain to anyone why I don't drink. Sometimes people are sober for religious reasons. Some are for personal reasons. Some are for health reasons. And some are just because they want to be. I don't mind when people ask if it's for personal reasons or because I don't want to, but don't continually ask me why. 

Another thing, don't be convinced that you'll get me to drink by the end of the night. If I really wanted to drink then I would, regardless of whether or not your drink tastes good or doesn't taste like it has alcohol in it. I do not want it, I will not drink, and if I do decide to it's not because you've pent all of 5 minutes trying to plead your case to me.

I don't want to meet your other sober friend. I don't care why they don't drink. Because neither of us do have alcoholic beverages in our hands does not mean that we will get along or have anything else in common. We simply both agree to respect each others boundaries silently and if we do somehow get along, it's because we probably both agree that alcohol smells bad.

But don't get us sober people wrong either. We do not give a literal fuck about whether or not you drink. We don't judge you, we don't think we're better than you, we simply just don't care. So stop saying that you're sorry. Stop asking if it's okay if you drink. Stop assuming that we think you're stupid and inferior to us. Just because we don't consume alcohol doesn't mean that we don't consume foods that are just as bad for us as alcohol is for you.

When we do decide to go out, let me make one thing clear, we feel like your babysitter. Regardless if we are, or if you expect us to be, that's just how we feel. It's the same way the person who's the least drunk out of the group feels. If you are throwing up, crying in some bathroom, have drank too much, or are about to make an decision that will cause you physical harm, we will help you even if you don't want us to. And for that reason we always feel the need to keep our eyes on you when we go out.

We are not automatically your designated driver. Time and time again I will always make sure that people know if they need a ride, I am available at any given time. I want to make sure you get home safely because I am not about to go to a funeral for a friend due to the fact they didn't think they could call me. But please do not assume that if we are going out with you that it makes us the DD. And don't invite us out only to then tell us that's what we'll be, because I can guarantee you that we will cancel on you last minute. All it takes is a simple "will you be able to drive us home?" That's all we ask.

Don't get mad when we say we like to socialize but don't want to do it whenever you ask us to go out. If you are holding a barbecue or just want to hang out and some drinks are involved, then fine. But if you think inviting us out to a bar or a club where everyone is intended to be drunk, I'm sorry, that's not socializing. I don't mind going somewhere that people are drinking so long as the only reason that establishment exists isn't for consuming alcohol. It's just uncomfortable. And frankly, I, personally, would rather be at home watching a movie in my pyjamas.

All of this isn't to say that we hate people that aren't sober, or that we don't want to be around them. What it is saying is that we respect that you drink but being in situations when no one respects that we don't drink is a problem. Introducing us to your friends as "and she doesn't drink" is not helping us because we're automatically considered bores or prudes. We aren't boring, we aren't on high horses, but if you make us feel that's what you think, then we aren't going to spend our time trying to convince you otherwise.

At the end of the day, some people like hot sauce and others don't but it's not creating a social gap between people. It's an irrelevant fact in the matter. So why can't being sober be just as irrelevant?

Until next time...
P.S. Connect with me on social media!
Twitter: @mbaynham_
Instagram: @mbaynham_
Facebook: Being MacKenzie
Bloglovin': Being MacKenzie
Pinterest: @mbaynham
Snapchat: @mackenziebaynha


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