Why I Refuse To Date

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With the holidays approaching us it means more often than normal, we're spending time with family that we probably haven't seen in a while. Maybe we're even seeing old friends that we otherwise don't see. Basically we just see a lot of people that aren't kept up to date with all the personal details of our lives. Of course there's Facebook that you get the gist of information from but sometimes we keep things private and to ourselves so as not to ruin them. One thing I know that can kind of be a sore subject is the topic of relationships, which always happens to be brought up at family gatherings because there was that one person in that one picture 59 days ago that could potentially be your love interest and what on earth is going on with that and is it anything serious and why aren't you spending more of your time trying to find that "special someone." All the good questions.

Every time I get asked the question "So, do you have a boyfriend, MacKenzie?" a little part of me dies inside. The reason being because of the questions or assumptions that follow my answer of "no." There's never an end to the inquisitions of whether or not there's someone in my life romantically after I give a negative answer. "You're such a pretty girl I would have thought you would" is probably one of my most favourite for the simple facts that now it's being implied that the reason I should have a boyfriend is because I somehow fall into the category of pretty and also there's probably something so screwed up about me that no one actually wants to be involved with me. But there's typically the question of "well, why not?" that follows to which I always respond "I don't have the patience."

I'd like to further explain that statement because everyone gets it so wrong. When I say that people think I don't want to spend time developing a romantic relationship with someone, that I'm not willing to do so. But that is not at all what I am saying. This "dating" world we live in now is so beyond fucked up. I am a very honest person when it comes to 'ships' whether it be a relationship or a friendship. I will tell people what I want, what I think, what I expect, what I have gone through, what I am looking for... all of the things people should be honest about. This is the part where the impatience comes in.

I don't have time for games, for someone that doesn't know what they want, for someone that won't respect my opinions, and for someone that won't be as open with me as I am with them. In this current time it is almost a standard for people in "relationships" to kind of see each other unofficially and then get aggravated about the other person seeing someone else. There's no defining moment in these relationships that make it become official, both parties are just supposed to know that neither of them are to see other people, but there's no conversation about it. It's just this "we're having sex, we kind of like each other but neither of us want to admit our feelings to one another until everything blows up because we're mad at the other for seeing someone else." And I do not have time for that kind of mind games.

I am in no way trying to shame people that have someone they occasionally have sex with, that's great, good for you. But people need to have conversations with the person they're interested in being with about where they stand with them. And everyone is just too afraid. Everyone is always kind of seeing someone, not too many people are actually dating or in relationships anymore. And that's really fucked up. I just simply don't want to be apart of it and I don't believe it's something that is okay for everyone else to be apart of. It screws with your head so badly because each day you question what is this thing that you're in, what you want out of it, what you expect of the person. All of those internal questions just leave you confused and emotional and vulnerable about a situation that the other person could possibly not be invested in at all.

So I guess what I'm trying to say when I say "I have no patience" is that I'm not willing to spend a large amount of time trying to figure out what is going on with someone because that is time I could be spending working on me. If it is ever a question to you about where you stand with the person you are seeing, maybe you should question where you stand with yourself. 

Have enough respect for yourself to know that your time and vulnerability are worth something more than someone who is not willing to make them a priority. 

Until next time...

P.S. Connect with me on social media!
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1 comments:

  1. To be honest that is how I feel with relationships today as well. There is a lot about the the sexual part about it which makes it seem cliche and superficial. I remember you mentioning your blog and your attempts at university and journalism throughout the past few years. A cliched fairy tale ending is not always the case either so people have to find a quaint middle ground. Compromise and working together against issues is another topic that couples today still need to understand and take it slow with to create a lasting relationship.

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